GLOSSY magazine “power” lists are, more often than not, utter cobblers.
Put together by a hand-picked coterie of people the publication’s editor either knows or wants to curry favour with, they get together over a plate of ethically sourced sushi (or probably over Zoom these days) and horse-trade for an hour or two about who makes the final cut.
If there’s an “awards” night attached, the recipients will include any A-list celebrity known to be in town on the night and likely to attend in person, or someone whose company is rich enough to buy a table and perhaps sponsor the champagne.
And if it’s just a printed list in the magazine, it will be a mixture of the judging panel’s powerful friends (so they can tell them, “I voted for you” and potentially get an invite to stay on their yacht next summer), someone plucky but ordinary to dispel any accusations of elitism, and someone controversial to garner headlines while burnishing woke credentials.
The latter, one suspects, is how the only athlete named in Vogue magazine’s list of “powerful females” is trans cyclist Emily Bridges, born biologically male.
Predictably, it has caused a furore not just among feminist groups, but also the world of women’s sport where, in the same year that the Lionesses reached the final of the World Cup, not one high-achieving, biologically female sportswoman warranted a mention in the list.
Perhaps outgoing Vogue editor Edward Enninful wanted to create a stir for his last issue, or perhaps there was a trans activist on the judging panel who argued Emily on to the list, or perhaps everyone involved doesn’t take women’s sport very seriously or appreciate the effort and sacrifice it takes to get to the top.
Who knows? But although it’s usually easy to disregard these lists and their sometimes baffling choices, “The Vogue 25” power list of “women defining and redefining Britain in 2023” shouldn’t be ignored because, on this occasion, it’s not just harmless twaddle.
As Sharron Davies said last year: “If I was to return to international swimming tomorrow with the amount of testosterone (a World Anti-Doping Agency banned-list substance because it aids performance) in my system as Emily Bridges is allowed, I’d receive an immediate four-year ban! How is this fair?”
Indeed. While I support Emily’s decision to transition and her right to be treated with respect, it’s only right that British Cycling has announced transgender women are banned from competitive women’s events, with the men’s category becoming an open one.
Research has shown that girls experience almost twice the rate of depression that boys do, beginning as young as 12.
And the images of “perfection” peddled on social media play their part.
So an interest in sport can be a healthy distraction from all the nonsense.
In addition, it teaches teamwork, commitment, how to be a good loser and the thrill of achieving a win after you’ve worked hard for it.
Sports teachers say that holding girls’ interest once they hit their teens has always been tricky, but the high-profile achievements of the UK’s elite sportswomen helps to encourage them to stick with it in the hope that, one day, their sporting prowess might be celebrated too.
Let’s hope they don’t read “The Vogue 25”, or they might think, “Why bother?”.
TRUST GAGA TO SEE
FORMER Emmerdale star Amy Nuttall has reportedly split from husband Andrew Buchan for a second time.
They briefly reconciled following his affair with Better co-star Leila Farzad, and rumour has it that Amy issued seven strict rules to try to get their marriage on track, including full access to each other’s phones and a romantic weekend away every few weeks.
But sources say the marriage has now come to an end. Shame.
Perhaps they gave it another go for the sake of their young children.
But trust is the foundation of a good marriage and once it’s gone, it’s hard to come back from.
Or, as the mighty Lady Gaga puts it: “Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother f***er’s reflection.”
Amen
AFFAIRY TALES YAWN
THE Sports Physio is a steamy memoir that will lift the lid on the anonymous author’s string of affairs with some of her high-profile clients.
“Six sports stars have contacted me this week – all eager for me not to reveal their identities,” she says. “I told them I would never do that and their identities will go to grave with me.”
Meaning it’s basically a string of revelations that will never be substantiated or denied?
Yawn.
Memo to self: Must crack on with that anonymous memoir about a journalist’s torrid affairs with an A-list actor, a Prime Minister, a President and a tech billionaire.
A VINTAGE Aston Martin abandoned for 40 years has been extensively renovated and is now worth around £500k.
The 1970 DB6 Mk2 was in a French field for 20 years, then stored in a barn for another two decades before being brought to Britain for a £250k restoration.
Apparently, it had so many holes it “looked like a Swiss cheese”, the colour was changed from red to mink, and it was converted to left-hand-drive.
And presumably, after 40 years of neglect, the engine needed a serious overhaul too.
Admittedly, cars aren’t my thing, but what’s “vintage” about it? It sounds like Trigger’s “old” broom in Only Fools And Horses: “It’s had 17 new heads and 14 new handles.”
MUSEUM MUST
ACADEMIC Dr Ittai Gradel is the renowned expert on Greek and Roman relics who spotted that valuable artefacts from the British Museum were being sold on eBay.
He first notified museum officials in February 2021, only to be initially ignored.
“They treated me like a village idiot, but I’m a village idiot with an Oxford degree,” says Dr Gradel, who developed a great affection for the museum after visiting there as a teenager.
The director of the museum has now resigned after admitting that officials failed to properly investigate warnings about stolen treasures, and the search is on for his replacement.
With his obvious love of ancient artefacts and an attention to detail that appears sorely lacking up to now, surely Dr Gradel is a shoo-in.
Money talks when it comes to costly Kim
KIM CATTRALL reportedly earned an eye-watering £790,000 for her 60-second cameo slot in the finale of season two of Sex And The City spin-off And Just Like That.
Nice work if you can get it.
Better still, considering her major fallout with the show’s lead actress Sarah Jessica Parker, their characters were shown talking on the phone. Meaning they each filmed their scenes separately and didn’t actually speak to each other at all.
Presumably, intense (and very expensive) negotiations have now begun to try to get them in the same room for season three.
SARAH THIGH JINKS
ROMAN KEMP says Sarah Greene, his co-star on new BBC quiz The Finish Line, has a filthy sense of humour.
I know. When she presented Saturday Superstore, I spent a day on set and, after the show, her husband Mike Smith (RIP) came to collect her.
As she was chatting, she had her hands behind her back and, unbeknown to me, was caressing the inner thighs of what she thought was Mike standing behind her.
Except it was the show’s guest, Sting.
“Luckily, he didn’t complain,” she giggled.
TIP FOR SELFIE HELP
THE beautiful fishing village of Portofino in Italy is apparently under siege from selfie-obsessed tourists disembarking from cruise ships.
Scandaloso. While tourism is the lifeblood for many picturesque places in Europe, cruise ships are problematic because the guests crowding the small streets tend to eat and sleep on board so fail to pump much cash into the local economy.
Consequently, Amsterdam has now stopped these floating beasts, calling them “nuisance tourism”, and Venice has banned them from its centre too in a bid to preserve its “environmental, artistic and cultural heritage”.
So perhaps it’s time to restrict the hordes of “in and out” selfie seekers from Portofino too?
Alternatively, pack them off to Universal Orlando, which has a full replica of the iconic seaside village.
They’ll be too busy looking at their screens to notice the difference.
