ON July 19, 1545, the Tudor warship Mary Rose sank in the Solent, probably as a result of negligence.
At least 500 soldiers and seamen died.
All that is bad enough. Now the remains of the ship, which is on display in Portsmouth, have been “queered”.
The dingbats who oversee the wreck — they would call themselves curators, I suppose — have decided to make this historic vessel all about LGBTQI stuff.
Visitors to the site will be met with a text which asks the question: “How can we understand the Mary Rose’s collection of personal objects through a queer lens?”
The answer is that we don’t need to and shouldn’t have to, of course.
But then follows some of the most unintentionally hilarious b***s which I have ever seen.
So, for example, one of the objects recovered was a mirror.
Here’s what the blog says about that: “Looking at your own reflection in a mirror can bring up lots of emotions for both straight and LGBTQ+ people . . . For queer people, we may experience a strong feeling of gender dysphoria when we look into a mirror, a feeling of distress caused by our reflection conflicting with our own gender identities.
“On the other hand, we may experience gender euphoria when looking in a mirror, when how we feel on the inside matches our reflection.”
It’s just a mirror. Just a very old piece of glass, or metal. But it goes on. A gold ring, for example, provokes a lengthy diatribe about how it was impossible for gay people to get married for ages. Then there’s a nit comb, which is for getting lice out of your hair. How do they “queer” that?
“For many queer people today, how we wear our hair is a central pillar of our identity.
“Today, hairstyles are often heavily gendered, following the gender norm that men have short hair.”
And so it goes on. And on. Frankly I’m slightly surprised they didn’t suggest that the Mary Rose wasn’t always called Mary Rose.
Once it was called “Bob”, but it transitioned.
Having suffered from a spot of gender dysphoria. Got its prow cut off, on the NHS.
Maybe that’s why it sank. But I digress.
‘F***ing mental’
The best riposte to this nonsense came from the gay writer and academic, Philip Hensher.
He tweeted: “I am as keen as anyone on gay sex, but I have to say to these curators — you’re f***ing mental.” Yes, f***ing mental — and absolutely full of themselves. Puffed up with their own self importance.
Determined to be seen not as people who look after an old ship, but warriors in the battle for social justice!
Nor are they alone. This kind of idiocy is being foisted upon museum collections up and down the country.
Places where you once visited on a Sunday afternoon to look at their nice old things now greet you with a lecture about slavery and colonialism and how wicked we all are.
It is a kind of psychosis, I think. An obsession which will not let them go.
But it’s also an insult. An insult to the past — and an insult to all those who visit such places today.
I WAS just about to turn the central heating on when the BBC News told me it had been the hottest July on record.
I’m not sure how they can tell us this stuff and keep a straight face.
It has been like November here for the past four weeks.
The problem is there are so many variables that they can claim a record is broken every day.
Hottest day of the year, month, week. Hottest average temperature.
Hottest day ever recorded in Goole.
This is why so many people don’t trust them.
Nuclear weapons get bit of a bad rap
OFF to see Oppenheimer tonight. Not because of the hype, or because I fancy Cillian Murphy.
But because I’ve always been a big fan of nuclear weapons.
I know they’re not to everyone’s taste, what with the mass destruction, radiation, etc.
But I think they get bad press.
I suspect nukes have saved millions of lives over the last 70 years, by preventing wars from starting.
Say this in public, however, and people look at you funny.
It’s all a bit stupid
NEW research suggests that walking just 2,000 or so steps each day is a benefit to health.
Now they tell us. I’ve got my Fitbit. And my target is 16,000 steps per day.
This means that if I’m about to go to bed and my watch tells me I’ve only done 15,350, I walk around the kitchen table 50 times.
Which, I can tell you, is really boring. And a bit mad, no?
The dog looks at me like she thinks I should be sectioned.
If I knew I could get away with just 2,000 steps, my life would be much more pleasant.
And at the back of my mind is the suspicion that it’s all a big con, anyway.
The stuff they get us to do, huh.
NOW here is some really great news.
The number of civil servants in our wonderful country has increased by 100,000 since 2016.
Christ alone knows what they are doing, or why we need them all.
My guess is most of them are doing nothing – or, as they would put it, “working from home”.
Our civil service now costs us a remarkable £17billion per year, according to the TaxPayers’ Alliance, a figure which rises every 12 months.
Repay Russia
IT’S alleged to be the Russkis who hacked our Electoral Commission, apparently compromising the security of tens of millions of voters.
I just hope we’re doing the same kind of stuff to the Russians, but I have my doubts.
Funny way to spend
HERE’S the latest in a long-running series of stories about the pencil-necked, joyless, self-important martinets who run our local councils.
This week we’re looking at Barnet Borough Council.
They’ve just announced that they intend to be “The Borough Of Fun”.
And to that end they’ve decided to spend a load of council tax dosh on providing fun activities for residents.
Want to know what these activities are?
OK, here we go. “Communal singing” is the first. Can’t wait, can you?
And amateur dramatics. And “public art”, which almost certainly means a modernist mural of a lesbian battling climate change.
Listen, you drongos. Just mend the potholes and collect the bins.
Even people unfortunate enough to live in Barnet can provide their own fun, thank you.
Diet’s gone to pot
I’VE been on a diet and lost a stone and a half by the simple expedient of not eating anything.
Then I spent five days on holiday in Slovakia and its all come back.
I blame the dumplings. Especially the plum dumplings coated in butter and sugar.
But here’s a tip for you – Slovakia is a lovely country for a vacation.
Beautiful scenery, inexpensive but wonderful hotels, and very agreeable locals.
And great food – if a little, y’know, on the heavyish side.
