The US Presidential election has reached what Alex Ferguson would call “squeaky bum time”.
That’s the moment where so much is at stake, and neither candidate can be sure of victory.
Pollsters believe just a few thousand voters in a handful of swing-states will decide who makes it to the White House.
When pressed, many think Trump has the edge – but wouldn’t
bet on it.
You’ll hear Keir Starmer using diplomatic language about working with whoever the American people choose, but you don’t have to be a political genius to know he’s hoping The Donald loses.
That’s because life becomes a lot more complicated if he wins, both for the world in general and the Labour leader in particular.
Starmer saw a warning of the possible shape of things to come this week.
Trump filed a legal complaint claiming the Labour party has broken US law with “anti-American election interference” which he says is part of a “far-left” plot to put Harris in the White House.
Of course, this is nonsense. Political parties have always found volunteers willing to travel to the States to help so-called “sister parties”.
But as ever with Trump, reality is almost beside the point.
Two things are really going on here. First, the former-President divides the world in two: friends and enemies, and woe betide anyone who he perceives as the latter.
Trump’s team sees Labour campaigning for Harris and believes they need punishing for that.
Second, the former-President is going around collecting grievances. If he loses, he wants to point to anything he can that shows the deck was rigged against him.
And supposed foreign interference will do nicely, thank you.
That puts our Prime Minister in a very awkward position. He knows he has no choice other than to work with Trump if he becomes the most powerful man in the world, even if it goes against every instinct he has.
In an age of volatility government departments and intelligence agencies must have good relations with their counterparts in the US.
That’s harder if there’s serious tension at the top, giving our real enemies in Russia, Iran and North Korea ready-made arguments against us and even democracy.
In simpler times Presidents and Prime Ministers could be relied upon to protect the “special relationship” between the US and UK.
We celebrated being two democracies under the rule of law, speaking the same language both literally and in terms of who we did and didn’t support around the world.
One of the high points of my time in Number 10 was when the US head of protocol called me.
He delighted in the name of Randy Bumgardner – and I never had the heart to tell him why there was sniggering in the background whenever his name was mentioned.
He wanted to know if we might be interested in an official visit to the States. I bit his hand off.
After all, there was going to be a party at the White House, where both sides could pick the entertainment.
It was a lot of fun. But everyone also understood it was about showing the world two dynamic leaders who shared the same values working together for the good of us all.
Keir Starmer is dreaming of such moments if Harris wins and fretting about how he would handle Trump, a man so many in his party detest.
Our Foreign Secretary, David Lammy is on the record calling Trump a “sociopath”, “dangerous clown” and “racist KKK and Nazi sympathizer”.
Fortunately for him and Starmer, Trump has a thick skin. His own running mate once described him as “reprehensible”, “an idiot” and “America’s Hitler.”
He shrugs off criticism and celebrates success. But not if you are in his way.
That means Starmer needs to be aware that anything involving Trump must be stamped: Handle with Care.
Most Brits cheer the moment in Love Actually when Hugh Grant gives the US President an earful in a joint press conference.
But anyone who has been in politics knows, it’s a fantasy that should never become reality.
Staying close is just too important – even if your team do privately think they are dealing with an infantile narcissist.
That’s why Keir Starmer is praying for a Harris victory but will try to stick to Trump like glue if he re-enters the White House.
