DEAR DEIDRE: HOW can I shake off my clingy friend?
He seems to think we’re best mates, when the truth is, I find him embarrassing to be around because he’s so loud and has such a terrible sense of humour.
We’re both 20 and met during Freshers’ Week at university, last year. We both joined the climbing club, and since then I haven’t been able to get rid of him.
He’s a nice enough guy, but he wants to meet up all the time and I don’t have the heart to tell him I don’t want to see him.
So I invite him along to evenings out with my other friends – none of whom like him – and then I’m stuck with him all night.
I’ve tried being distant, taking a while to reply to texts or saying I’m busy, but he doesn’t get the hint.
I have a good circle of friends, who I’m close to. Unfortunately, he barely has any, which is why he’s stuck himself to my side like a limpet.
I don’t want to be cruel or hurt him, but I’ve had enough.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It may be that your friend is being loud and telling bad jokes because he thinks it will make him more popular.
People often overcompensate if they feel shy or awkward or want to be liked.
You say he’s a nice guy and you have things in common. Rather than dumping him, why not suggest he relaxes more and tones down his behaviour, so he’s easier to be around.
Explain that people would be more receptive if he didn’t try so hard.
My support pack, Standing up For Yourself, might help you do this.
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