TURN on your TV today and you’ll find schedules filled with true crime thrillers and celebrity reality shows or, at the other extreme, indulgent tripe pandering to Gen Z snowflakes.
But unless the Big Five channels stop making so much b****ks and grow some balls, they’re going to kill British TV as we know it.
Because BBC One and BBC Two, ITV, Channel 4 and 5 — whose listings increasingly read like a suicide note — are entering the final stages of a fight for their survival.
They’re up against Netflix, Sky, Prime Video and countless other corporations with deep pockets and big ambitions.
Proof came this week in the unlikely form of Blind Date, a much-loved TV format that was once on ITV but has now been snapped up by Disney+.
Only in Britain could we be forced by law to shell out for a home-grown broadcasting service, only to find the best TV shows are increasingly made by largely foreign-owned streamers
Rod
Yeah, that’s right, Disney+.
Paying through nose
Years ago, the subscription services started out providing an alternative to traditional telly, then they began copying the traditional providers and, recently, they’ve started stealing their big-name talent — Jeremy Clarkson, Emma Willis, Amanda Holden, Holly Willoughby.
Now the Blind Date deal shows that the super streamers are literally out to thrash the Big Five at their own game.
The gloves have come off . . . but the increased competition won’t stop us paying through the nose.
Only in Britain could we be forced by law to shell out for a home-grown broadcasting service, only to find the best TV shows are increasingly made by largely foreign-owned streamers.
Then — in the ultimate rip-off — we have to cough up even more money to watch them.
That’s the enraging situation we find ourselves in in the year 2025. Although there are some notable exceptions on the BBC, ITV and Channel 4, the consensus is that subscription services are now making the most electrifying programmes on the planet.
Think about it. Dramas including Adolescence, Baby Reindeer, Rivals, The White Lotus, Slow Horses. And consider the shows that have given us the biggest laughs over the past few years — hits like Last One Laughing, Ted Lasso, Brassic, Clarkson’s Farm.
None of the above was delivered by the traditional Big Five terrestrials.
So, why can’t the channels we already pay for make more of the TV that gets us excited?
The obvious response from the top UK channels would be that they are still giving us blockbusters — Strictly, I’m A Celebrity, Bake Off, The Traitors, Love Island and dramas like Happy Valley or Mr Bates Vs The Post Office.
They are all, to be fair, brilliant.
But so much of it is old now. It’s predictable. And the new hits are few and far between.
Though the streamers obviously have pots of cash to spend, it’s not just a money problem either.
Look no further than the recent co-production between Disney+ and the BBC on Doctor Who.
It’s easy to understand why other shows that are laden with CGI and big Hollywood stars end up on the streamers, but why is it that comedies like Ted Lasso never seem to pop up on ITV?
Rod
It was, by most people’s standards, an unmitigated disaster.
The studio giant pumped millions into cutting-edge special effects, sets that dazzled rather than wobbled and genuinely monstrous monsters.
And what did the BBC do? They squandered it by turning a sci-fi classic into a series of woke lectures that had viewers turning off in droves.
Now the Disney+ deal is hanging in the balance and they’re having to bring back David Tennant.
It’s easy to understand why other shows that are laden with CGI and big Hollywood stars end up on the streamers, but why is it that comedies like Ted Lasso never seem to pop up on ITV?
ITV, by the way, recently spent millions launching The Genius Game, with David Tennant as host, only to end up with one of their most expensive flops in years.
And the one thing I thought while watching the brilliant, gritty drama Adolescence was, this could easily have been done by Channel 4.
Neither Adolescence nor Ted Lasso would have cost that much to produce, surely? It’s not Star Wars or Bridgerton.
Pure extortion
Part of the problem, it seems, is that a lot of creatives and execs now don’t just chase the money — they also chase trends and credibility.
At last month’s TV Baftas, around a third of the nominations went to streamers — a figure that’s been growing rapidly over the past decade. That, too, could reach a tipping point in a couple of years.
The solution is glaringly obvious, but not easy. If Disney+ steal Blind Date, come up with the next Blind Date.
If they lose Clarkson to Prime Video, find the next Jeremy. If Netflix do Bridgerton, come up with another twist on the period drama.
They need to stop the rot in terrestrial telly, because one day a cluster of these streamers will start offering a one-price-buys-all subscription deal that will make the licence fee look like pure extortion.
Then public service broadcasting’s days really will be numbered.
