My blended family is at loggerheads because of our will

a man and a woman sit back to back on a couch
Mature couple fighting at home sitting on the sofa. They are sitting back to back not talking

DEAR DEIDRE: MY blended family is at loggerheads because of wills. 

My husband and I are in our 60s and have been married for 30 years. We share a beautiful daughter and we both have children from previous relationships. 

We created the perfect unit until we decided to update our wills.

I wanted the value of our home to be divided up equally between all three of our children. He has a son, I have a son and we share a daughter. 

However, he has lost his rag over this suggestion, instead insisting that the value of our home should be divided in two – one half to his son and the other half to our shared child and my son. 

I felt my step-son was getting the better end of this suggested deal as he’s already inheriting a huge chunk of money from his mother. 

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Now all the children have become involved. My children agree with me whilst my step-son is siding with his dad.

The rows have become nasty with my husband accusing me of favouring my son from my previous marriage, which simply isn’t true.

He’s even accused me of being with him just for financial gain because he was always the breadwinner of the family.

I wish I hadn’t voiced what I wanted now and I’m questioning if it was wrong of me. I didn’t realise it would turn into such a big deal. 

I need to hear an opinion from someone outside of the situation. Have I been unreasonable with my wishes? 

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband shouldn’t be saying such nasty things to you and my support pack ‘Abusive Partner’ will show you where to find some support.

Abuse doesn’t always take the physical form of violence, you can be mentally or emotionally abused.

Find a moment between you and your husband where you can discuss your feelings. Tell him it’s not okay that he says such horrible things to you.

My support pack called Standing Up For Yourself will help you do this.

Explain how it’s affecting your relationship and that you want to speak to someone outside of the situation to provide some clarity for you both.

Couples counselling would provide this for you both and my support pack on counselling will explain more.